This topic is something I have just recently become obsessed with. During my teenage and early adulthood years I found myself surrounded by “friends”, I use that term very loosely. They were always around, making rock solid plans for tomorrow, next week and next month. Trips planned, what pub to attend (although in our town we only had two options), regardless, it was fun. At the time!!!
I thought these were my friends for life. It wasn’t until my first marriage fell apart that I realised who my real friends were. You see, nobody truly knows what goes on behind closed doors and as I have mentioned before, its easier to judge than it is to understand. The judgement I received from these friends was real. I have never been one to discuss my innermost feelings aloud, it’s not how I was raised (now I understand how consequential that can be). Needless to say nobody around me understood why my marriage broke down. Peace = shattered.
Nevertheless, I had a little girl to raise so I soldiered on, as we mums do. I had countless casual jobs and made some very questionable decisions. However, I did, miraculously manage to gain two university degrees and two diploma’s in my chosen fields.
Focusing on education and bettering myself, protecting my peace was never high on my priority list. I allowed dusty, negative, no-good dickheads in my life and I considered that normal. Ha, how wrong was I.
When we don’t know our own self-worth, we settle for way less than we deserve. Almost unknowingly may I add. Peace? OMG I didn’t even know I needed it or what it truly meant.
I am now 35 years young, and I do not and will not allow my inner peace to be disturbed by others. Because for years I let people in, in my life, my bed, my heart and fuck that. I’ve come to peace with my past, and I am grateful for the many lessons it has taught me. However, because of my past I know the truth worth of innermost peace.
I’m talking about true inner peace here. Not Bob Marley smoking a doobie type shit. Real and honest peace is priceless. Truly, I know you are probably thinking that I’m some hippy dippy woman sitting behind her laptop in her kaftan and natural fibres; surrounded by ungodly interiors, incense and mismatched colours shoved together on pillows and wall hangings. Er, wrong!!! Just a mum in her Lorna Janes and oversized hoody.
Don’t let shitty, low vibrating, no good, dishonest mother fuckers in your life. Don’t let them in your phone, on your tv, in your home, near your precious children, don’t work with them. Do not allow them in your space, in your being. We have to realise that not all human beings are created nor were they raised equally. It can take years of mastering the skill to say no, but once you pop you can’t stop.
Please don’t waste years of your life hoping you can change someone whilst your peace is being dismantled. Saying no to people is the best way to protect your peace. I repeat, saying NO to people is the best way.
Why?
Because it can ensure that you are dedicating your precious time and energy toward people and things that matter the most. I’m talking about the partner, fiancée, husband, wife, defacto fucking whatever relationship you have. Your children, your step babes, the home where you all reside. Your health, doing a workout or whatever really sets your soul on fire. These things alone will bring your more peace than I could ever write to you.
You’ll know you have found peace when your heart is beating rhythmically, your face is relaxed, your calm, you will feel at ease and content with your life. It’s a beautiful thing to find. I want it for all of you.
Want to know where I found mine?, right here. Whilst our one-year-old is day napping and I am writing to you.
Start by practicing saying no to something unimportant like a coffee date, or folding washing the kids just upend in their room. Say it aloud, no, pass, no thanks, that’s not in my plan today or my personal favourite; “I just possibly could not”. Emphasis on the not. Try it, tell me how you go.
Love and Light
MM
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